A Guide to Attachment-Based Therapies: Healing Through Connection in Burnaby

We are wired for connection.

From our very first moments, we rely on caregivers for safety, comfort, and emotional regulation. These early relationships don’t just shape our childhoods—they leave lasting imprints on how we relate to others, regulate emotions, and view ourselves throughout life. When those early bonds are secure, we’re more likely to grow into emotionally resilient adults. When they’re insecure, neglectful, or traumatic, the effects can be long-lasting—but they are not irreversible.

This is where attachment-based therapies becomes a powerful path to healing.

At Being and Becoming Counselling and Wellness Services, located near the Burnaby-Vancouver border, we work with individuals who are ready to explore how their past relationships continue to shape their emotional lives—and help them create more secure, connected futures.

Whether you're navigating your own healing journey or exploring therapeutic approaches, this guide will help you understand the wide and growing landscape of attachment-based therapies, including traditional models like Emotionally Focused Therapy and newer integrative approaches like Somatic Attachment Therapy.

What Are Attachment-Based Therapies?

Attachment-based therapies are a group of therapeutic approaches informed by attachment theory, a psychological model developed by John Bowlby and expanded by researchers like Mary Ainsworth. At their core, these therapies address how early caregiving relationships influence emotional development, self-perception, and interpersonal behaviour. These therapies prioritize relational healing, offering clients a safe and supportive space to explore how their earliest attachments may be impacting them today.

They’re particularly effective for individuals struggling with:

• Emotional disconnection or numbness

• Relationship difficulties or patterns of conflict

• Anxiety, shame, or fear of abandonment

• Low self-worth

• Trauma, especially from early life

At Being and Becoming Counselling and Wellness Services, we have therapists who specialize in attachment-based counselling in Burnaby, offering compassionate and individualized care to help you move from survival to connection.

Understanding Attachment Theory

Attachment theory proposes that the emotional bonds we form with caregivers in early life shape our future relationships and internal world. Four primary attachment styles often emerge:

• Secure Attachment: Develops when caregivers are consistently responsive and attuned. These individuals generally feel safe in relationships and can manage emotions effectively.

• Anxious Attachment: Arises from inconsistent caregiving. Adults may become clingy or overly preoccupied with relationship security.

• Avoidant Attachment: Develops when caregivers are emotionally unavailable or rejecting. People with this style may value independence and struggle to trust others or express vulnerability.

• Disorganized Attachment: Often linked to trauma or abuse, this style reflects a fear of both closeness and abandonment, leading to confusion in relationships.

These attachment patterns can be deeply embedded—but not fixed. Through attachment therapy, individuals can develop new ways of relating to themselves and others.

Attachment-Based Therapies We Offer:

At Being and Becoming Counselling and Wellness Services, we offer a range of attachment-based therapy approaches designed to support your unique healing journey. Our modalities are grounded in both evidence-based research and compassionate, trauma-informed care. Whether you’re working through childhood wounds, relationship difficulties, or nervous system dysregulation, our therapists integrate approaches that foster emotional safety and connection.

Here are some of the primary methods we draw from in our Burnaby attachment-based counselling services:

1. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a well-established, evidence-based approach that helps individuals and couples strengthen emotional bonds and move out of negative relational cycles. Based on attachment theory, EFT helps uncover core emotional needs and fosters new ways of relating with safety and vulnerability.

EFT may be right for you if you’re looking to:

• Repair relationship disconnection

• Build emotional safety and intimacy

• Understand and express your deeper emotional needs

• Develop secure patterns of relating

• Strengthen your connection with partners or loved ones

2. Somatic Attachment Therapy

Somatic Attachment Therapy blends attachment work with body-based healing. It recognizes that attachment trauma doesn’t just live in the mind—it’s stored in the body and nervous system. This approach helps clients build safety from the inside out, using somatic tools to regulate and reconnect.

In therapy, we’ll work together to:

• Develop nervous system awareness and regulation

• Gently access and release stored survival responses

• Rebuild trust in your own body and internal signals

• Experience what safe connection feels like—physically and emotionally

Somatic attachment therapy is particularly helpful for those with early developmental trauma or those who haven’t found relief through talk therapy alone.

3. Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT)

Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) is a powerful approach designed to help people who experience high levels of self-criticism, shame, or emotional disconnection—common outcomes of insecure or traumatic attachment histories. CFT works by strengthening the “compassionate self” and supporting a more balanced, kind, and accepting relationship with oneself.

In CFT, we support you to:

• Understand the roots of shame and self-criticism

• Cultivate emotional warmth, self-kindness, and inner safety

• Rewire internal patterns that were shaped by fear, neglect, or judgment

• Build resilience through compassion—not perfectionism

CFT complements our other attachment-based approaches by reinforcing internal security and emotional regulation.

Common Goals Across Attachment-Based Therapies

Regardless of the specific model, attachment-based therapies generally aim to:

• Create a safe, consistent therapeutic relationship

• Explore early relational experiences

• Develop emotional awareness and regulation

• Heal from relational trauma or neglect

• Improve current relationships by shifting internal attachment patterns

• Foster a secure sense of self and connection to others

Who Can Benefit?

Attachment-based therapies are effective for:

• Adults with anxiety, depression, or low self-worth

• People who struggle with emotional intimacy or fear of abandonment

• Couples with trust, communication, or intimacy challenges

• Trauma survivors

• Individuals who feel “stuck” in relational patterns but don’t know why

In short: if your emotional life feels shaped by fear, loss, or relational pain—attachment-based therapy may help.

The Power of the Therapeutic Relationship

One of the most healing aspects of attachment-based therapy is the relationship between therapist and client. This bond becomes a secure base, where emotional safety, consistency, and trust are gradually built—often for the first time.

At Being and Becoming, we take this responsibility seriously. Our therapists offer a warm, grounded, and nonjudgmental presence to support the deep emotional work of attachment healing.

Final Thoughts: Healing Is Relational

We are shaped in relationship—and we heal in relationship.

Whether you struggle with anxiety, feel disconnected in your relationships, or sense that something from your past is still affecting you today, attachment-based therapy offers a compassionate and effective way forward.

At Being and Becoming Counselling and Wellness Services, we are committed to helping you reconnect with your inner wisdom, restore emotional balance, and develop deeper, more secure relationships—with others and with yourself.

Ready to Begin?

If you’re looking for Burnaby attachment-based counselling, we’re here to help.

📍 Conveniently located along the Vancouver-Burnaby border
💻 In-person and online therapy options available
🌱 Trauma-informed, somatic, and relational approaches

We invite you to reach out and book a free 15-minute consultation to see if we’re a good fit for your needs.

Contact Us Today to learn more about which therapists offer attachment-based therapy.