Understanding the Five F's: Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn, and Flop Responses
When we encounter a threat—whether it's a physical danger, an emotional confrontation, or a stressful situation—our bodies don't consult our rational minds before reacting. Instead, an ancient survival system kicks in, triggering what we call stress responses. While most people are familiar with the "fight or flight" response, modern psychology recognizes that our nervous system actually has a more nuanced repertoire of survival strategies. Through the lens of Polyvagal Theory, we can understand not just what these responses are, but why they occur in a specific hierarchical order.
At Being and Becoming Counselling and Wellness Services in Burnaby, we work with clients every day who are navigating these automatic stress responses. Understanding how your nervous system works is the first step toward healing and building the life you want. Let's explore all five F responses: fight, flight, freeze, fawn, and flop.
The Polyvagal Foundation: Three Neural Pathways
To truly understand our stress responses, we need to explore Polyvagal Theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges. This groundbreaking framework revolutionized our understanding of the autonomic nervous system by revealing that we don't just have a simple "on/off" stress switch. Instead, we have three distinct neural pathways that evolved at different times and activate in a hierarchical order.
The vagus nerve—the longest cranial nerve in our body—is central to this system. "Polyvagal" means "many vagus," referring to the multiple branches of this nerve that regulate our responses to safety and threat.
The Ventral Vagal System (Social Engagement) is our newest evolutionary development. When we feel safe, this system is active, allowing us to connect with others, communicate effectively, and regulate our emotions. Our heart rate is variable and responsive, our facial expressions are animated, and our voice has natural prosody. This is our optimal state for learning, creating, and building relationships.
The Sympathetic Nervous System (Mobilization) is our middle pathway, governing the fight and flight responses. When the ventral vagal system determines we're not safe, we shift into this mobilized state. Our heart rate increases, stress hormones flood our system, and we prepare for action. This is adaptive when we face real threats but problematic when chronically activated by modern stressors.
The Dorsal Vagal System (Immobilization) is our oldest evolutionary response. When the sympathetic system can't resolve the threat—when we can't fight or flee successfully—we drop into this primitive shutdown state. This is where freeze, flop, and some aspects of fawn live. Our heart rate decreases, we may dissociate, and our body essentially plays dead.
Understanding this hierarchy is crucial: we don't choose these states consciously. Our nervous system constantly scans for safety or danger through a process called "neuroception," and it moves through these states in order, trying each strategy until it finds one that works.
Fight: Standing Your Ground
The fight response lives in the sympathetic nervous system's mobilization pathway. When your nervous system determines that confrontation is the best survival strategy, your body prepares for combat. Blood flows to your large muscle groups, your heart rate increases sharply, and you might feel a surge of energy and anger. Your pupils dilate to improve vision, and your body releases glucose for immediate energy.
From a polyvagal perspective, fight represents a sympathetic state where your nervous system still believes you have a chance of overcoming the threat through aggression. You haven't yet dropped into the deeper dorsal shutdown because mobilization still seems viable.
In modern contexts, fight responses don't always look like physical aggression. They might manifest as:
Arguing or becoming defensive during disagreements
Feeling irritable or having angry outbursts
Clenching your jaw or fists
Raising your voice or using aggressive body language
Feeling the urge to control situations or people around you
Sending aggressive emails or messages when triggered
While the fight response can be protective and help us set boundaries, it becomes problematic when it's our default reaction to non-threatening situations. Chronic activation damages relationships and keeps us trapped in sympathetic arousal, unable to access the ventral vagal state where genuine connection happens.
Flight: Running From Danger
The flight response is the other side of sympathetic mobilization. Like fight, this response floods your body with adrenaline, but instead of preparing for combat, your body prepares for rapid escape. You might feel restless, panicky, or experience an overwhelming urge to leave. Your legs might feel energized, ready to run.
Polyvagal Theory helps us understand that flight, like fight, represents your nervous system's assessment that you still have agency—you can escape the threat. You haven't yet given up on mobilization strategies.
Modern flight responses often look like:
Avoiding difficult conversations or conflicts
Leaving social situations when feeling uncomfortable
Procrastinating on tasks that feel overwhelming
Constantly staying busy to avoid dealing with problems
Physical fidgeting or feeling unable to sit still
Excessive exercise or using activity to escape emotions
Changing jobs, relationships, or locations frequently to avoid problems
The flight response isn't inherently negative—sometimes removing ourselves from harmful situations is exactly what we need. However, when flight becomes our automatic response to manageable stressors, we might miss opportunities for growth and connection. We remain stuck in sympathetic activation, never allowing our nervous system to settle into the safe, social engagement state.
Freeze: Immobilization Under Threat
The freeze response marks a critical shift in the polyvagal hierarchy. When fighting or fleeing aren't viable options—when mobilization has failed or seems impossible—we begin to drop into the dorsal vagal system. Freeze is actually a mixed state: you have sympathetic activation (high alert, racing heart) combined with dorsal immobilization. Think of pressing the gas and brake simultaneously.
This is the response of a deer in headlights. During freeze, you might feel paralyzed, unable to think clearly or take action, even as your body feels wired and alert internally.
Freeze responses in everyday life include:
Going blank during important conversations or presentations
Feeling physically unable to move or act during stressful moments
Dissociating or feeling disconnected from your body
Difficulty making decisions when overwhelmed
Feeling simultaneously anxious and paralyzed
Being unable to speak or advocate for yourself in the moment
The freeze response is often misunderstood and judged harshly. People criticize themselves for "doing nothing" in a crisis, not realizing their nervous system made this choice automatically based on its neuroception that neither fight nor flight would work. This response is particularly common in trauma survivors who learned through experience that resistance made situations worse.
Fawn: People-Pleasing for Safety
The fawn response is complex from a polyvagal perspective. It's essentially a hybrid survival strategy that attempts to use social engagement behaviours (ventral vagal) while actually being driven by threat (dorsal/sympathetic activation). We might call it "fake ventral"—you're mimicking connection and safety behaviours, but your nervous system is actually in a defensive state.
When we can't fight, flee, or freeze effectively, we might try to appease the threat. This involves prioritizing others' needs and emotions over our own to avoid conflict or gain favor. It's essentially trying to befriend danger, using our social engagement system as a survival tool rather than for genuine connection.
Fawning behaviours include:
Difficulty saying no or setting boundaries
Excessive apologizing, even when not at fault
Constantly trying to please others or fix their emotions
Suppressing your own needs and opinions
Taking responsibility for others' behaviours or feelings
Losing your sense of self in relationships
Agreeing with others even when you disagree internally
Over-explaining or justifying yourself
The fawn response often develops in childhood when a child learns that compliance and pleasing caregivers is the safest strategy. Their nervous system discovers that appearing safe and non-threatening through social engagement behaviours prevents harm. While being considerate and empathetic are positive traits rooted in true ventral vagal connection, fawning becomes problematic when it's a defensive strategy that prevents authentic relationships and keeps you tolerating harmful situations.
Flop: Complete Shutdown
The flop response, sometimes called "tonic immobility" or "collapse," represents the deepest dorsal vagal state. This is pure immobilization without the sympathetic activation of freeze. It occurs when all other strategies have failed and the nervous system essentially shuts down completely. This is a last-resort survival mechanism seen across the animal kingdom.
From a polyvagal perspective, flop is your body's final strategy: if you can't mobilize (fight/flight), if you can't create a mixed state (freeze), if you can't appease (fawn), then complete shutdown is all that's left. This is dorsal vagal dominance—metabolic conservation, disconnection, and collapse.
During a flop response, you might experience:
Complete physical collapse or weakness
Feeling emotionally numb or disconnected
Extreme fatigue or inability to function
Depression or complete withdrawal
Loss of muscle tone
Feeling like you're observing yourself from outside your body
Hopelessness and despair
This response is most commonly associated with severe trauma and represents the nervous system's final attempt at survival—if you can't escape or fight, perhaps you won't feel pain, or perhaps the threat will lose interest. Understanding that this is a biological response governed by ancient neural pathways, not a personal failing, is crucial for trauma healing.
The Autonomic Ladder: Moving Up and Down
Polyvagal Theory describes our movement through these states as an "autonomic ladder." At the top is ventral vagal safety and social engagement. Below that is sympathetic mobilization (fight/flight). At the bottom is dorsal immobilization (freeze/flop). Fawn exists as a complex state trying to use ventral behaviours while actually being mobilized by threat.
Here's what's crucial: we move down this ladder in order. You can't just jump from safety to collapse. Your nervous system tries each strategy, moving down only when the current strategy fails. However, with trauma or chronic stress, you can develop a "low threshold" for dropping down the ladder quickly.
The good news? We can learn to move back up the ladder, though it typically requires moving through each state rather than jumping directly back to safety. Someone in collapse (flop) needs to first mobilize (move into fight/flight) before they can settle into safe social engagement. This is why some trauma therapy involves helping people access healthy anger or movement—it's bringing them up the ladder.
Recognizing Your Patterns
Most people don't rely on just one response—we might default to one but cycle through others depending on the situation and what our nervous system has learned is most effective. You might fight with colleagues, flee from intimate relationships, fawn with authority figures, freeze during public speaking, and flop when overwhelmed by too many demands.
Your patterns were shaped by your early experiences. If fighting back as a child led to worse consequences, your nervous system learned to skip that strategy. If freezing kept you safe, it became your go-to. These aren't choices—they're adaptations.
Recognizing your patterns is the first step toward developing flexibility in your nervous system responses. Ask yourself: What's my go-to reaction when stressed? Where do I tend to land on the autonomic ladder? Did I learn this response in childhood? Is it serving me well now, or is it causing problems?
Moving Toward Regulation and Safety
Understanding these responses through Polyvagal Theory isn't about judging yourself—it's about compassion and growth. These mechanisms kept our ancestors alive and may have helped you survive difficult circumstances. Your nervous system was doing its job.
At Being and Becoming Counselling and Wellness Services, our trauma-informed approach recognizes that these automatic responses are adaptations, not deficits. We understand that you can't simply "think" your way out of nervous system patterns—healing requires working with your body's wisdom, not against it.
If these automatic responses are interfering with your life, several approaches can help retrain your nervous system:
Trauma-Informed Therapy:
Our therapists in Burnaby are trained in trauma-informed care that incorporates polyvagal principles. We create a safe therapeutic environment where your nervous system can begin to experience what safety feels like. We use approaches like Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, trauma sensitive yoga and other modalities that work directly with your nervous system rather than just talking about problems. Trauma-informed care means we understand that your responses make sense given your experiences, and we never push you beyond what your nervous system can handle.
Building Ventral Vagal Capacity:
The key is creating more "safety cues" that signal to your nervous system that you're not in danger. This includes safe relationships, predictable environments, and practices that engage the ventral vagal system like singing, humming, breathing exercises, or connecting with others. Our therapists can help you identify and build these safety cues in your daily life.
Co-regulation:
Your nervous system can borrow safety from others. Being with people who are in a ventral vagal state can help shift your own state. This is why the therapeutic relationship itself is healing—our clinicians provide a regulated presence that your nervous system can attune to. This is also why safe relationships outside of therapy are so crucial for healing.
Body-Based Approaches:
At Being and Becoming, we recognize that trauma and stress live in the body. Our wellness services include approaches that help you reconnect with your body in safe ways, release stored tension, and build awareness of your nervous system states. Because trauma often disconnects us from our bodies, gentle somatic work can be transformative.
Awareness Without Judgment:
Simply noticing where you are on the autonomic ladder—without judgment—begins to create flexibility. "I'm in sympathetic activation right now" is different from "I'm a bad person for being angry." Our therapists help you develop this compassionate awareness of your nervous system states.
Glimmers and Anchors:
Learn to notice "glimmers"—small moments of safety and connection that activate your ventral vagal system. Build anchors—practices, places, or people that help you access safety. These might be as simple as petting your dog, listening to a favorite song, or feeling sunlight on your face. We help clients identify their personal glimmers and anchors.
Creating More Safety in Your Environment:
Sometimes healing requires making practical changes to create more safety in your life—setting boundaries, leaving harmful relationships, or changing overwhelming situations. Our trauma-informed approach helps you assess what changes are necessary and supports you in making them at your own pace.
You Don't Have to Navigate This Alone
If you're recognizing yourself in these stress responses and feeling stuck in patterns that no longer serve you, please know that change is possible. Your nervous system is incredibly adaptive—the same quality that helped you survive difficult experiences can help you heal when given the right support and environment.
At Being and Becoming Counselling and Wellness Services in Burnaby, we're here to walk alongside you on this journey. Our trauma-informed therapists understand the polyvagal framework and can help you understand your unique nervous system patterns, build capacity for safety and connection, and gently move toward the life you want to live.
Our stress responses are deeply wired survival mechanisms, not character flaws. By understanding fight, flight, freeze, fawn, and flop through the lens of Polyvagal Theory, we gain profound insight into why we respond the way we do. We're not broken—we're adaptive. The goal isn't to eliminate these responses entirely—we might genuinely need them someday—but to build a flexible nervous system that can move fluidly between states and, most importantly, find its way back to safety and connection.
When we understand that we're working with biology, not battling our character, healing becomes possible. And with the right support, you can learn to live more fully in that ventral vagal space of safety, connection, and authentic engagement with life.