Understanding Insomnia: Why You’re Not Sleeping—and What You Can Do About It
Being and Becoming Counselling and Wellness Services — Burnaby, BC
Most people experience the occasional restless night. Stress before a big presentation, a sick child, travel, or an exciting event can temporarily disrupt sleep. But when sleeplessness becomes frequent, frustrating, and exhausting, it may be something more: insomnia.
At Being and Becoming Counselling and Wellness Services in Burnaby, BC, we often work with individuals who feel stuck in a cycle of poor sleep and growing anxiety about sleep. The good news is that insomnia is both common and treatable. In this post, we’ll explore:
What insomnia is (and what it isn’t)
Why it happens
How it affects your mental and physical health
Practical strategies you can try on your own
When to seek support — including Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I)
What Is Insomnia?
Insomnia is a sleep disorder characterized by:
Difficulty falling asleep
Difficulty staying asleep
Waking too early and being unable to return to sleep
Experiencing sleep that feels unrefreshing
For a clinical diagnosis, these difficulties typically occur at least three nights per week for three months or longer, and they cause daytime distress or impairment — such as fatigue, irritability, trouble concentrating, or reduced performance at work or school.
Insomnia is not simply “not getting 8 hours.” It’s about how sleep disruption impacts your daytime functioning and wellbeing.
There are two general types:
Acute Insomnia
Short-term sleep disruption lasting days or weeks, often triggered by stress, illness, or life changes.
Chronic Insomnia
Ongoing sleep difficulty lasting three months or longer. This form often becomes a self-perpetuating cycle.
Chronic insomnia affects an estimated 10–30% of adults. It can occur on its own or alongside anxiety, depression, chronic pain, menopause, shift work, or other health concerns.
How Insomnia Becomes a Cycle
Many people are surprised to learn that insomnia often continues even after the original trigger is gone.
Here’s how the cycle typically develops:
A stressful event disrupts sleep.
You begin worrying about not sleeping.
You spend more time in bed trying to “catch up.”
You monitor the clock and feel pressure to fall asleep.
Anxiety increases.
Sleep becomes even harder.
Over time, your brain may begin to associate your bed with wakefulness, frustration, or stress rather than rest.
This is not a failure of willpower. It’s a learned pattern — and learned patterns can be unlearned.
The Impact of Insomnia
Sleep is foundational to emotional regulation, cognitive functioning, and physical health. When sleep suffers, everything else often does too.
Emotional Impact
Chronic insomnia is strongly linked to:
Increased anxiety
Depressive symptoms
Irritability
Reduced stress tolerance
Emotional reactivity
Sleep and mood influence each other. Poor sleep can worsen mental health, and mental health struggles can disrupt sleep.
Cognitive Impact
Insomnia can affect:
Concentration
Memory
Decision-making
Productivity
Creativity
Many clients describe feeling “foggy,” forgetful, or less sharp than usual.
Physical Impact
Ongoing sleep deprivation can contribute to:
Fatigue and low energy
Increased pain sensitivity
Weakened immune functioning
Hormonal and metabolic disruption
Increased cardiovascular risk over time
Sleep is not a luxury — it’s a biological necessity.
Common Myths About Insomnia
Misunderstandings about sleep can unintentionally make insomnia worse.
Myth: I must get 8 hours of sleep every night.
Reality: Sleep needs vary. What matters most is how you function during the day.
Myth: If I don’t fall asleep quickly, something is wrong.
Reality: It’s normal to take some time to fall asleep. Pressure makes it harder.
Myth: Spending more time in bed will help me catch up.
Reality: Too much time in bed can fragment sleep and reduce sleep quality.
Myth: A bad night means tomorrow will be a disaster.
Reality: While you may feel tired, most people function better than they predict.
Challenging these beliefs can reduce sleep-related anxiety.
Practical Strategies You Can Try on Your Own
While persistent insomnia often benefits from professional support, there are evidence-informed strategies you can begin implementing right away.
1. Keep a Consistent Wake-Up Time
Choose a wake-up time and stick to it — even on weekends. This stabilizes your circadian rhythm (your internal body clock) and strengthens your natural sleep drive.
2. Go to Bed Only When Sleepy
Sleepy is different from tired. If you feel alert, wired, or restless, stay up and engage in a calm activity under dim light until your eyes feel heavy.
3. Use the Bed Only for Sleep (and Intimacy)
Avoid scrolling, watching shows, working, or worrying in bed. This helps your brain relearn that bed = sleep.
4. Get Out of Bed If You Can’t Sleep
If you’re awake for about 15–20 minutes and feel frustrated, get up. Go to a quiet, dimly lit space and do something relaxing (read, gentle stretching, calming music). Return to bed when sleepy.
This reduces the association between bed and wakefulness.
5. Limit Naps
Long or late-afternoon naps reduce sleep pressure and make nighttime sleep harder. If you nap, keep it brief (20–30 minutes) and before early afternoon.
6. Reduce Clock-Watching
Turn your clock away. Monitoring the time increases anxiety and mental math about lost sleep.
7. Create a Wind-Down Routine
Spend 30–60 minutes before bed doing calming activities:
Gentle stretching
Reading (paper book)
Herbal tea
Light journaling
Soft lighting
This signals your nervous system that it’s safe to power down.
8. Be Mindful of Substances
Avoid caffeine after midday.
Limit alcohol — it may make you sleepy initially but fragments sleep later.
Be aware of nicotine and late heavy meals.
9. Get Morning Light Exposure
Natural light within the first hour of waking anchors your circadian rhythm and supports nighttime sleepiness.
10. Address Worry Earlier in the Evening
If racing thoughts keep you awake, schedule “worry time” earlier in the evening. Write down concerns and possible next steps. Close the notebook before bed.
When Self-Help Isn’t Enough
If you’ve tried improving sleep habits and still struggle with insomnia, you’re not alone.
Chronic insomnia often requires a structured, targeted approach. Sleep medications may provide short-term relief, but they don’t address the underlying behavioural and cognitive patterns maintaining insomnia.
This is where Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I) comes in.
What Is CBT-I?
CBT-I is a structured, evidence-based therapy designed specifically to treat chronic insomnia. It is widely recognized as the first-line treatment for insomnia because it addresses:
Unhelpful beliefs about sleep
Conditioned arousal in the bedroom
Irregular sleep schedules
Sleep-related anxiety
CBT-I works by retraining both the mind and body for healthy sleep.
Unlike medication, which often works only while you take it, CBT-I builds sustainable sleep skills that last long after treatment ends.
CBT-I at Being and Becoming Counselling and Wellness Services
At Being and Becoming Counselling and Wellness Services in Burnaby, BC, we offer CBT-I as part of our holistic approach to mental health and wellbeing.
Our approach includes:
A thorough assessment of your sleep history
Personalized sleep scheduling strategies
Support in shifting anxious sleep thoughts
Gentle behavioural experiments to strengthen sleep drive
Integration with anxiety, depression, or stress treatment if needed
CBT-I is typically short-term (often 6–8 sessions), collaborative, and practical. Clients frequently report improvements not only in sleep but also in mood, energy, and overall quality of life.
You Deserve Rest
If insomnia has left you feeling exhausted, frustrated, or discouraged, it’s important to know:
You are not broken.
Insomnia is common.
It is treatable.
Sleep struggles can feel deeply personal and isolating — especially at 3:00 a.m. — but effective help is available.
At Being and Becoming Counselling and Wellness Services, we are committed to compassionate, evidence-based care that supports you in both being — accepting where you are now — and becoming — moving toward restorative sleep and greater wellbeing.
If insomnia is affecting your life, we invite you to reach out and learn more about CBT-I and how we can support you on your journey toward restful nights and brighter days.
Because better sleep isn’t just about the night — it’s about reclaiming your energy, clarity, and resilience for the life you want to live.