Why Eating Disorder Recovery Can Feel So Scary (Even When You Want It)
Eating disorder recovery can be an emotional rollercoaster. Even when you deeply want to get better, the process can feel frightening, confusing, and overwhelming. For many people, this fear is normal — and it doesn’t mean you’re not ready for recovery.
At Being and Becoming Counselling and Wellness Services in Burnaby, BC, we understand that recovery is more than just changing eating habits — it’s about healing the underlying emotional, psychological, and social patterns that have maintained the eating disorder.
In this article, we explore why recovery can feel scary, why fear is a normal part of the process, and how specialized eating disorder counselling in Burnaby can support you in taking the first steps toward healing.
Eating Disorders Are More Than Food
Eating disorders are often misunderstood as being solely about food, weight, or appearance. In reality, they frequently develop as coping strategies to manage emotions, trauma, stress, or feelings of low control.
For many people, the eating disorder provides:
A sense of predictability or safety
A feeling of control in chaotic times
A way to numb or escape difficult emotions
A sense of identity, purpose or achievement
Protection from vulnerability or emotional pain
Because the eating disorder may have served these roles for years, letting it go can feel frightening. Recovery isn’t just about changing behaviour — it’s about learning to meet your emotional needs in safe and supportive ways.
Specialized eating disorder therapy, like the services offered at Being and Becoming Counselling and Wellness Services in Burnaby, BC, helps individuals navigate these challenges with empathy and evidence-based strategies.
Fear of Losing Control
A common fear during recovery is losing control. Many people worry:
“If I stop restricting or purging, I won’t be able to stop eating.”
“If I don’t follow rules, I’ll lose all discipline.”
If I gain weight, I’ll never feel okay again.”
Eating disorders often create the illusion of control, and it’s understandable that letting go can feel threatening. Recovery helps you regain control in healthier, sustainable ways, with guidance from trained therapists who understand the nuances of eating disorder behaviours.
Eating disorder counselling in Burnaby provides a safe environment to explore these fears, gradually build new coping skills, and reclaim a sense of control that doesn’t rely on harmful behaviours.
Fear of Weight Gain and Body Changes
For many individuals, fear of weight gain is one of the most powerful barriers to recovery. This fear is not superficial or vain — it is often deeply rooted in societal weight stigma, lived experiences of body shaming, or beliefs about worth, acceptance, and safety.
In a culture that equates thinness with success, self-control, and attractiveness, weight gain can feel like a personal failure or a threat to one’s identity. Some people also fear:
Being judged or treated differently
Losing respect, love, or belonging
Feeling uncomfortable or unfamiliar in their body
Having to confront long-standing body image pain
Recovery doesn’t mean ignoring these fears — it means addressing them with support. Through therapy, clients learn to build body trust, challenge unhelpful beliefs, and develop self-compassion.
Fear of Emotions Coming Back
Eating disorder behaviours often function as emotional regulators. Restriction, bingeing, purging, or compulsive exercise can dull feelings, provide release, or distract from emotional pain.
When recovery begins, those behaviours are reduced or removed — and emotions that were previously suppressed may resurface.
Common fears include:
Experiencing intense sadness, anger, or anxiety
Feeling unable to cope with emotions
Facing past trauma or unresolved experiences
A structured recovery plan in therapy teaches emotional regulation skills, grounding techniques, and coping strategies so that these emotions can be experienced safely.
Fear of Losing Identity
When an eating disorder has been present for years, it can become a central part of identity and for some it offers a sense of self-worth. Recovery may trigger fears like:
“Who am I without my eating disorder?”
“What will motivate me if I’m not focused on food or my body?”
“What if there’s nothing underneath?”
These questions can feel deeply unsettling. Recovery often involves a period of grief — grieving the identity, structure, or sense of purpose the eating disorder provided, even while acknowledging the harm it caused.
At the same time, recovery also creates space for discovering parts of yourself that may have been overshadowed: your creativity or values, relationships, interests, pleasure, rest, and joy. Identity rebuilding is a process, not something you have to have figured out at the beginning.
Fear of Failing at Recovery
Another common fear is, “What if I try and fail?”
For individuals who are highly self-critical or perfectionistic, recovery can feel like a test with very high stakes. Slips or setbacks may be interpreted as proof of inadequacy rather than as part of the healing process.
This fear can lead to avoidance: If I don’t fully commit, I can’t fail. But recovery is not an all-or-nothing process. It is rarely linear, and setbacks are not a sign that you’re doing it wrong — they are a normal part of learning, especially in the early stages.
A compassionate, supportive treatment approach recognizes that recovery is rarely linear. Setbacks are normal and expected. Compassionate therapy helps you reframe mistakes as learning opportunities, rather than evidence of inadequacy. Specialized counselling at Being and Becoming Counselling and Wellness Services in Burnaby focuses on small, achievable steps and consistent support, helping clients feel safe while making progress.
Ambivalence Is Normal
It is possible to want recovery and feel scared of it at the same time. This ambivalence is normal and does not indicate failure.
You do not need to feel 100% ready, confident, or fearless to begin recovery. In fact, most people don’t. Courage is not the absence of fear — it is taking small steps forward with fear present.
Therapy provides a space where ambivalence can be explored without pressure or judgment. You don’t have to convince yourself to want recovery more. You can start exactly where you are.
Recovery Is Not Something You Have to Do Alone
Recovery is difficult to navigate without support. Working with professionals who understand eating disorders can make the process more manageable and less frightening. Eating disorder counselling provides:
Safety while exploring fears at your own pace
Tools for managing emotions and distress
Compassionate accountability without shame
Help untangling the eating disorder from your identity
Support in building a life beyond the disorder
At Being and Becoming Counselling and Wellness Services in Burnaby, BC, we provide personalized eating disorder therapy, helping clients feel supported and empowered every step of the way.
Taking the First Step
Feeling scared of recovery does not mean you are not ready. It means that meaningful change is ahead. Fear is natural — and with the right support, it can be managed and understood.
If you or a loved one are struggling with an eating disorder, consider reaching out for professional support. Being and Becoming Counselling and Wellness Services in Burnaby, BC, offers specialized counselling tailored to the unique challenges of eating disorder recovery.
Recovery is possible. You deserve to experience life beyond your eating disorder — and you do not have to do it alone.